Dress For Success

Look to the young for emerging fashion trends
I first saw this ensemble modelled by Tom Grant
Age five

His face was hidden by the visor of his helmet
(13th century European by way of Taiwan)
His chest was covered by a baseball umpire’s breast plate
His escutcheon was a Cooper shin pad the length of his left humerus
And protecting his right arm up to the elbow
Was a dilapidated hockey glove
In which he brandished a plastic sword

He looked like a Kendo warrior
Assembled out of cotton jammies and Dad’s old sports equipment
He looked like a guy ready to rumble
Dressed up so no one gets hurt

This is a fashion statement that could really take off
I’ve chaired a committee or two in my day
An outfit like that could really have come in handy
I don’t know why I didn’t think of it first

• 1996